This Morning while in the bathroom I felt the morning breeze. First glanze at the bathroom window showed a half cracked open window, to my surprise! But after doing a double take I realize that it is in fact closed properly. The trees outside the window where still blowing in the cool breeze and I could no longer feel it.

I have a re-accuring "vision" so to speak. I can not say it is a dream beause I am wide awake when this scene replays in my mind.
I am swiming in a pool. A great big pool, and I am the only one in the pool at this time. I see my family, my aunts, uncles, mother, father, boyfriend, boyfriends kids, grand parents, cousins...., on the side standing over the water.
I am swiming under the water, and at first I am trying to figure out how long I can hold my breath under the water. I then realize that I can hold my breath infinitaly and I just swim around, like a mermaid. Im enjoying things down under the water but then start to ask myself what else can I do with this talen? I am confined to being under the water. What more does my life at this point have to offer? Is this all I will EVER do, swim carelessly under the water?? I begin to panick some, thoughts racing around in my head.
Then I hear my family getting loud. I cant hear what they are saying. They are yelling and pointing; I am under the water so I cant make out what they are saying.
I swim closer to the edge of the pool where they are lurking over and they are saying to me, "Kandace Breath!!"
The thought enters my mind like a stab in the heart and I think, Do they not know that if I breath my lungs will fill up with water and I will die?
Maybe that is what they are saying to me. At this point they are laughing and pointing at me.
I swim away and then it ends.

I think this is a metaphor for the way I feel right now.
The only question I have is HOW do I make it better???